


Nite Bites with Drusilla Necrofunk

by Vibrant_Orchid



Category: DuckTales (Cartoon 2017)
Genre: Halloween, Halloween Costumes, M/M, Violet's Got Two Dads
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-31
Updated: 2019-10-31
Packaged: 2020-11-24 00:33:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,882
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20898701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vibrant_Orchid/pseuds/Vibrant_Orchid





	Nite Bites with Drusilla Necrofunk

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Fearynna](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Fearynna).

_"Whoops, there goes her head right into the were-dinosaur's mouth. Who could've predicted that?" they said dryly. "Well, that's enough gratuitous violence towards women for today don't you think?" They clicked the remote control and the TV flickered into static. _

_The heavy chimes of a grandmother clock echoed just off-screen. "Would you look at that? It's midnight, and the spookiest holiday of the year has begun. Actually, second spookiest. Thanksgiving, am I right?" They paused for a non-existent laugh track. “My paycheck’s the spookiest thing of all,” they muttered loud enough to barely register on the microphone._

_“Well anywho, if you’re just tuning in then welcome to _Nite Bites with Drusilla Necrofunk_, the they-demon from the 68.9th Circle of Hell. The horror hostess whose been most ghosted. The persona of a fruit bat who just really needs a nap. Your guide to tonight’s feature presentation:_All Hallow's Eve Lovers

_Their eyes slowly darted around as they thought it over. “What! Why is it a romance, this is Halloween?”_

_The muffled voice of a producer could be heard lightly._

_“So you’re telling me that Halloween has gotten so commercialized we’re going back to its roots and those roots are love? Nothing about the ancient pagan cultures which gave us-“_

_Another short burst came from the producer. Something about money was mentioned._

_“Fine, fine. I’ll do this the ‘right’ way. Geez, Louise! Anyways, here’s _All Hallow's Eve Lovers

_They rolled their eyes and plopped their head down into a facepalm as it all faded to black._

*****

“Gosalyn, your dads are ready to see your cute little costume. Come on down,” Drake announced proudly with a sing-song twang. The patter of small footfalls never arrived. “Gosalyn?” He called out. He combed his feathers back with his fingers. Drake looked up over at Launchpad briefly before they both shot up the stairs in a near-tangle of anxiety-ridden panic. Despite their hurry, Launchpad stopped and rapped lightly on Gosalyn’s door. They opened the door slowly before entering. The room was empty.

They stood still in the center. “Gosalyn!” Launchpad hoarsely whispered as he peeled under the bed. The closet door squeaked an inch open. 

Drake turned around into a fighting stance as the door burst open and a short masked green creature with milky eyes jumped out. Drake fell back and let out a terror-pitched scream. Launchpad jumped into the air, hitting his head on the ceiling.

Gosalyn tore off her mask and rolled around in bouts of uncontrollable laughter. “I scared you. I scared you,” she teased.

Drake turned his beak up. “You did no such thing, little lady. I got into my personal fighting stance and if I didn’t know it was you already you would have been toast.”

“Sure thing, Dad,” Gosalyn said in mock agreement.

“If it makes you feel better pumpkin, I was absolutely terrified,” Launchpad said rubbing the back of his head.

“Thanks pops,” Gosalyn went over and hugged Launchpad. In the arms of Launchpad, she stuck out her tongue at Drake, who in turn, returned the favor. He soiled it with a smile.

“I want to know where your real costume is Gos. You’re supposed to be the Tin-Man.” After a long shouting match between Drake and Gosalyn, it had been decided no one got to be Dorothy and Fenton was to be sparred a night out as the Cowardly Lion.

"Dad, I don't want to be Tin-Man anymore. Pops tell him I don't have to wear the costume." 

"Gee Gos, I wish I could but we all agreed to be Dorothy's friends for Halloween. 

“But my heart’s not into it. You and Dad always said that if your heart’s not in something you shouldn’t do it.”

“Sweetie, you were so excited about it, what happened?”

“I thought I would get to use a real ax, I didn’t know it would only be tin-foil.” 

“Hmm fair point, my darling daughter. Well, what would you rather do instead?”

“Webby, Lena, Violet, and I were kind of thinking of doing a group costume.

“You don’t want to go trick o treating with your dad and pops, Gosaroonie?”

“I do, but I want to go with my friends too. We’re all the way in St. Canard and I have school so we barely get to see each other anymore.” Gosalyn blinked her eyes in what would have been her “Please can I not clean my room before heading out” face if it wasn’t a genuine emotional response.

Drake put a fist beneath his chin in thought for a moment. He looked up. “Who’s chaperoning little lady?”

Gosalyn avoided making eye contact. “We were sort of thinking Fenton would be,”

“Gizmo- Fenton!” Most of the people that knew Fenton also knew his heroic alter-ego and that included a third of his rogues’ gallery. It took a decent chunk of effort on Drake’s side to avoid conflating the two identities out of respect. “Uh, Ms. Beakley wasn’t available?”

Gosalyn shook her head.

“What about the Sabrewings?” 

“They’re dropping off Violet and Lena and then heading over to a Samhain festival.”

“Donald? Della? Scrooge?”

“Donald is with Storkules on a cruise, Della is going to be with the boys trick-or-treating and Scrooge won’t do it without financial compensation for spiritual mishaps that might result.”

“Why didn’t you ask us, sweetheart?”

“Well that the most confusing part, Pops and Dad. You’re all so eager to go out but the calendar says it’s a patrol night.”

Drake swallowed. “Did you say patrol night? Launchpad how could have we forgotten?”

“Uh, babe. By all accounts, it makes no sense. I was being responsible and I wrote it down on my calendar.” He looked down at his hand and saw only a faded and smudged mess. Launchpad chuckled. “Looks like I washed my hands. Hey, I used a permanent marker for this one.” It said “Trick-o-Treat with Gos." 

Drake heavily exhaled, his hand over his face. “Okay, so the plan is you’re going out with your friends and Fenton, without us, while we go out on patrol-without you?” 

Gosalyn hopped out of the confines of Launchpad’s arms. “I’m glad you understand.” She waddled proudly out of the room.

Drake sat on the bed alone with Launchpad, his head hung low. “She’s really growing up, isn’t she? She used to love going out on patrol with us, wouldn’t miss it for the world.” He crept his hand slowly into Launchpad’s hand, who held it tightly.

“I guess that’s what being spirited does to you, gotta be independent, gotta have it your own way.” He freed his hand and wrapped his arm around his partner. “Sort of like a certain special someone I know.” A light kiss was planted on Drake’s forehead.

“Come on Launchpad, she’s only twelve. She’s not too old to hang out with her dads and I have the perfect plan for that to still happen." 

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" Launchpad asked. 

"Of course it is. And if not, I'll make it work because I am a father who loves his daughter. The guardian with an inscrutable amount of love. I am Darkwing Duck.”

***** 

"I'll have Gosalyn back home by 9 o'clock sharp, Drake. The girls are going to have so much fun tonight, and they'll be extra safe too. I've attached reflective tape to their costumes." Fenton declared proudly. His felt dog ears flapped with every word. 

Drake suppressed a giggle. It was even more ridiculous than the Cowardly Lion costume, but his heart flushed at the idea that his daughter had chosen it. This was all something she wanted, and he wanted in. "Thanks for doing this Fenton, Halloween is a night of darkness and evil, the night Darkwing Duck must do his duty to the citizens of Duckberg and beyond more than ever," Drake added an additional request through the most secure measure: a whisper. "You can send me updates about Gosalyn throughout the night right?" 

Fenton nodded. "You've got the Gizmo-App so you can contact me directly through there," 

"Of course," Drake said flatly. Their rivalry had flickered out over a year ago but it was moments like being reminded the guy had made an app to contact him for help that fanned the flame, just a hair. 

Launchpad came up behind him, his aviator jacket zipped up and ready for a night out fighting crime. "Ah babe, look at our girl taking the lead." 

Gosalyn chatted happily with Webby, a blonde pompadour wig adorned her head and an orange ascot was around her neck. Webby had exchanged her typical purple style for a complimentary orange and a pair of glasses. They were the Mystery Gang, Gosalyn had chosen the Mystery Gang over the Wizard of Oz-with her dads. Drake’s suspicion was only confirmed when he saw Violet as Velma and Lena as Shaggy huddling around a phone. “Alright dads, love you. Bye.” They said unanimously. Violet looked up to see Drake staring. “I bet you’re wondering why we’re dressed like this.” 

“Oh yeah, yes.” Drake sputtered. It was like she had a third eye or something that could read minds. 

“The group costume represents our friendship.The choice of the Mystery Gang is a way to reflect on the moral grey tones of humanity, keeping it in theme with the typical scary nature of Halloween. At best the Mystery Gang is taking down the rich upper class and their exploitation through fear. At worst, they aid in the attack against the lower classes trying to fight against the oppressive system through the same methods.” 

“I relate to how Shaggy uses food and snacking to fill the void within,” Lena tacked on. 

Drake looked back and forth between the two confused. “Is this a reboot you’re talking about? Wait, never mind, forget I asked.”

“Alright girls, let’s get trick or treating!” Fenton announced. The mass of characters disappeared into the crowd of children eager to get their share of candy. Before she too disappeared, Gosalyn waved back at her dads standing in the doorway. They waved back. 

“See, Drake. She’s still thinking of us. All she wants is a little time to hang out with her friends.” 

“Please,” Drake scoffed. “That’s just how we raised her. Polite habits don’t mean a thing, Launch. Now, I’m going to go put on my own costume while you prepare the Thunderquack.” 

“Got it, babe, I mean partner,” A plus of living a double life was that partner ended up becoming just as affectionate as babe to Launchpad. All he had to do was keep track of which time to say which. 

Minutes later, the Thunderquack ascended from Launchpad’s garage and soared past the silky full moon. On a night like this, with the moon’s light casting a shadow of the Thunderquack’s silhouette, they would have to patrol from a single vantage point. The rooftop of Duckberg National Bank.  The beginning hour of the patrol was spent with an anxiously pacing Darkwing Duck only soothed by the “very professional encouragement kisses” of his crime-fighting partner Launchpad McQuack. “Crime seems slow tonight, maybe we can check out early, go see how Gosalyn’s doing.” 

“Come on partner, you know we can’t stop now,” Launchpad said as a reminder. “Gosalyn’s fine. She's having a great Halloween with her friends.” 

“Yeah, having a great Halloween without us.” Darkwing Duck scowled. The cascading clatter of breaking glass suddenly came from behind them. The duo went down the elevator access stairs. 

The St. Canard Tangler had tied her twisty body around the vault’s handle and was in the process of using its brute force to turn it open. A rush of dark purple gas expanded from the staircase and filled the room. After a coughing fit, she opened her eyes to see a figure emerging from the cloud. 

“I am the piece of gum stuck in your hair,” the figure declared before they disappeared and reappeared at another point in the room. “I am the tight knot keeping the shoes of justice tied. I am Darkwing Duck!” 

Another, less dramatic voice, echoed from behind the first one. “And I’m Launchpad, his faithful partner!” 

The smoke cleared and the dorky duo was revealed. “Oh look, a lost little boy in a throwback Halloween costume. How cute,” the Tangler teased.

“We’ll see what you think when you’re behind bars," Darkwing Duck retorted. 

Whatever effect he wished his statement to have didn't reach her. The stringy arms of the villainess had wrapped themselves around Darkwing Duck and one of the fists had flown directly at his face. She released and he tumbled back into the arms of Launchpad. This all happened while her toe had slid back to where the vault was and made decent work towards opening it. 

"How about we do the 'Double-Decker Launchpad Surprise', eh partner?" Launchpad suggested. 

"Gladly," Drake-Darkwing Duck said, his tone had briefly slipped into civilian mode. Also known as Loving Launchpad mode. 

Launchpad hefted Darkwing Duck onto his shoulders and bent down. The pilot made a running start at the Tangler, who propelled a spring-loaded arm in their direction. Launchpad, well, launched Darwing Duck into the air above the arm and blocked the hit with his brawny arms. The Duck Knight fired his gas gun and another gust of violet clouds disorientated his target. He grabbed her arms and tied them into a knot, while Launchpad did the same to her legs. 

"We did it babe, I mean partner," Launchpad gasped and slipped a hand over his beak. 

Drake turned sharply, his eyes were wide beneath his mask.

Despite all of this-including, the Tangler burst into laughter. "Oh," she said as she wiped a tear away with a strand of her rubbery hair. ", and here I was thinking I was an amateur. You two can't even keep things in order on duty." 

"Hey stop that you fiend, you're making Launchpad upset." 

Launchpad his moistened eyes behind his pilot's goggles. 

"I'm sorry,' she oddly said. "I'm new to this whole 'hero and villain gig' and I didn't know things could be this lax. I wrote up a whole monologue and everything." 

"No, that's pretty good stuff," Drake said, remembering the nights spent in front a mirror rehearsing all of his "I am Darkwing Duck!" declarations. "But I think you should consider taking your talents and using them for good." 

The St. Canard Tangler shook her head. "That's a nice thought but crime runs in the family. It would be a shame if I broke the tradition. Surely you understand how important family is, you've got a boyfriend and a...?." 

Drake froze up. "A daughter," he said without looking her in the eyes. 

Launchpad looked back and forth between them. "You're not going to spread this around are you, Ms. Tangler?" 

"I don't think I want to be a super-villain, just a villain. Low-grade stuff, no threatening lives or all that jazz," 

"That's a relief," Launchpad sighed. He picked up the still stiff Drake. "You wouldn't mind coming with us to the police station, I got to get this guy home?" 

"Nope, it's not like I won't slip through the bars later anyways," 

"You'll what?" 

"Nothing!" 

*****

"Something's wrong Drake, you've been acting up all night about our little Gosaroonie. And I know it's not about her getting all independent, she's been like that since we met her and I bet she's been like that since she was hatched." Launchpad held onto Drake's hand. "Tell me what's wrong, please."

Drake slid back against Launchpad's chest. “We’ve only had Gosalyn for a few years but I feel like she’s been there my whole life. Yet I also feel like she's slipping away," 

In a surprising move, Launchpad laughed. "Oh Drake, you really think that. Why I know for a fact Gosalyn's a Mallard-McQuack, says so right on her adoption papers. And you know what Mallard-McQuacks do, right?" 

"No," Drake lied. 

Launchpad jokingly clicked his tongue. "Mallard-McQuacks always get back up after they crash, and they've always got each other when they do so. Gosalyn's not going to leave us. She is us." 

"I guess you're right," Drake said lifting his head up for a kiss. 

The door burst open and Gosalyn leaped onto the living room table and dumped out her bag of candy. She handed them a few pieces as she yelled, "Pops, dad! You're not going to believe what I saw, a kid had a costume that could stretch really far. They gave me a high five from a block away!" 

"Oh, that's nice dear-" They looked at each other before they paused. That would be a problem for tomorrow.

"Happy Halloween Gosalyn." They declared joyfully instead. She made one final jump into the hug nest between them. 

***** 

_"Why, that wasn't half-bad. It wasn't even that romantic," Drusilla said between sobs. They took out a black lacy handkerchief and wiped beneath their eyes. "I wouldn't mind watching another one if it's like that," _

_A burst of speech came from a producer. _

_A frown fell upon their face. "Well, it appears old Drusilla Necrofunk has been dropped by the network, so I'll have to watch these without you all here. See you when they reboot me for nostalgic bucks in thirty years," they cackled. "Have a spooky night everyone."_


End file.
